Things I Discovered in 2009: Movies

They were not made in 2009, but they made my year.

3. I Could Never Be Your Woman ( 2007)



I swear to God, I only watched this movie because David Mitchell has a cameo. It's a fine cameo, but it's a more than decent movie surrounding his bit part. In the best scene ever, Paul Rudd DANCES. He does not stop, he does not limit your enjoyment to one silly move. He COMMITS and he DANCES DAMMIT. The supporting cast is fun, doing a farce of a high school mini drama, the daughter says naughty grown-up things, and the least fun person in the movie in Michelle Pfeiffer. It is one of the few romcoms I think I'll ever approve of. Well done, you fun stupid movie.

2. Charlie Bartlett (2007)



You win, Anton Yelchin. I love you. You already win. This movie is like Rushmore if Max was popular. (I've made a detailed argument about this that I've never confessed to but think about it: bully wants to act, private school kid to public school, etc) It's the best high school kids-acting-like-adults smart funny movie I have seen. He is such a great leading man, you forget that Hope Davis, Kat Dennings, and Robert Downey Jr (for chrissake!) are awesome too. They have a dance and Spiral Beach plays Voodoo and my goodness I love this movie.

1. The Brothers Bloom (2008)



I knew I would love this movie from the first trailer. It took me so long to be able to see this movie, I was worried the self-made hype would be greater than the product. I was worried all the other quirky indie movies I had thought I would like had been really terrible, and I questioned my faith. But then I got to watch it. And I knew I would love this movie from the opening lines by Ricky Jay. They won me over so fast I tried to hate them for it but I love it too much for that. The dialogue, the costumes, the plot, the little cons, the Blooms as kids, the cameos from people in Brick, the sneak attack Cat Stevens. Dammit Rian Johnson, I thought all the odds working against this could stop my love, but I love it to the end and it WILL be mine when it finally comes out on DVD in a few weeks.

Thank you, little movies. Thank you for giving me something I could float on.

Things I Discovered in 2009: Countries

CHINA!

I went to China for 2 weeks, which is weird. We hopped around cities in a loop in and out of the country: Beijing, Xian, Chengdu, Longsheng, Shanghai

You can find a brief photoset on Flickr

Also. I hugged a panda and scratched his ear and was not arrested and now we are pen pals. Here for my embarrassment and your viewing pleasure:


It was pretty great, and I have a necklace and bracelet and earrings and communist poster and book and mushroom cloud pin and greater understanding of that giant country.

The Man Who Made Lists: Not a Book Review

I recently finished The Man Who Made Lists by Joshua Kendall about the life of Peter Mark Roget and I don't know what to say exactly.

I was hoping this book would be a kickstart to me to attack the pile of language books I have languidly lying around my bookshelves, but not so.

From the first pages, I was writing "awwwww" in the margins because the front and back sheets are his handwritten list of animal names in Latin and English.

The book goes through his biography, and I don't like how it's written, like the author had a Pastwatch-esque ability to know where Roget is looking and what he is thinking as he walks down the road or in the middle of a meeting. I know there are records and he could have explained it after the fact, but I just don't buy it and it distracts me to throw in details about the buildings he passes and their little histories.

Whatever. So I identify with him, and he was destined to go on the Cool Guys List from the first cracking open of the book. So his life is tragic, and it makes me worry that I can try to organize the world in my little way, try to contribute to some field, realize the kind words someone once told me, that I am "a solution in search of a problem." And I will contribute, probably, but it won't stop my life from being terrible for no apparent reason, and it won't stop me suffering from debilitating personal issues that don't allow me to appreciate my many blessings or accomplishments. What I'm saying is, I'm really looking forward to the rest of my life. Thanks, book.

I mean, Peter Mark Roget was a serious genius, and put his hands into all sorts of medical and botanical classification projects, and now his name is (oh my, better write this one down) synonymous with Thesaurus-type reference books, but those are just word indices and lack the vision that his original system had about who would use his book and why and how.

RESOLUTION: To seek out an original-ish version of Roget's Thesaurus, in a rare books room in Portland or elsewhere. To see the original layout, to see the systems and sub-systems. To touch a page, even if through gloved fingers. To be inspired or not by it. Begin.

I Joined Wordnik

Last night I joined wordnik.com as TankHughes. I favorited 50 words, realizing how many words on my happy word list are not in English.

I hope to start tagging words I like, and creating categories for interesting words like 'strengths' the longest word with only one vowel. longest_word_with_one_vowel, one_vowel, word_records ?

More to come. Could not see a direct way to volunteer to be helpful to the site, so I'll just try some things on my own before reaching out officially.

Cool Guys List

Sun Tzu (544-496BC)

Zeno of Elea (490-430BC)

Tiresias (405BC-?)

Dismas and Gestas (?-29)

Charlesmagne (747-814)

Genghis Khan (1162-1227)

Nicholaus Copernicus (1473-1543)

Sir Francis Drake (1540-1596)

El Greco (1541-1614)

Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)

Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679)

Diego Velazquez (1599-1660)

Carolus Linnaeus (1707-1778)

Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr (1841-1935)

Frederic Chopin (1810-1849)

Clara Barton (1821-1912)

Dmitri Mendeleev (1831-1907)

Carry Nation (1846-1911)

Emma Lazarus (1849-1887)

Miguel de Unamuno (1864-1931)

Beatrix Potter (1866-1943)

George Patton (1885-1945)

Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977)

Sergei Prokofiev (1891-1953)

Langston Hughes (1902-1967)

John Steinbeck (1902-1968)

Sterling Holloway (1905-1992)

Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)

Woodrow Wilson Guthrie (1912-1967)

Eugene Kelly (1912-1996)

Henry Mancini (1924-1994)

Harvey Milk (1930-1978)

John Williams (1932-?)

Sergio Aragones (1937-?)

Billy Collins (1941-?)

Frank Oz (1944-?)

Robert Munsch (1945-?)

David Mamet (1947-?)

Frank Hughes (1949-2009)

Orson Scott Card (1951-?)

Will Shortz (1952-?)

Danny Elfman (1953-?)

Stephen Fry (1957-?)

David Mitchell (1974-?)

Jason Schwartzman (1980-?)

Andy Smith (1984-?)

Paul Shamble (1986-?)

Guillermo J Writerdog (immortal)

Raúl (immortal)

The Hippopotamus and Magical Sex

I just finished reading Stephen Fry's novel The Hippopotamus. I picked it out this summer at Powell's and chose it based on its very low low price, paperbacked-ness, and nice hippo cover. I read it during lunches as I was starting at PECI, and then shit went down, and I lost the book. I also lost my sunglasses, my check wallet, and a lot of lip gloss. 

A couple of weeks ago, I found them all in the same messenger bag that I apparently had not used or opened in months. So I took it up again, more than half-way through, and it finally got good and interesting, which it sadly had not previously been. This being the reason it was lost and not very well looked for. Anyway, spoiler alert, it turns out that this kid has fucked his cousin, a horse, and an older man because he thought his semen would heal them of their ailments. 

At the same time, Digg told me about this comic which highlights a superpower that necessitates the superhero to fuck the person for them to tell the absolute truth.

In related news, once upon a time, when an ex-friend and I would talk about things like, since Johnny Storm says "FLAME ON!" to turn into Human Torch, shouldn't The Thing, or The Hulk, or Colossus say "HARD ON" when they transform into their more invulnerable states? Or, when Wolfsbane transforms from her more human form to her wolf form, what happens to the hair down there? In related matters, Green Lantern could hypothetically create a green condom, bypassing the need for other contraceptives except! Could he retain a sufficient level of concentration during the moment in which he actually would need the block to keep it substantive? Of course the classic discussion is Superman's deadly shot through Lois and WonderWoman's wonderwomb from Mallrats. 

Problems in my Life Right Now

1. My dad is dying of lung cancer in California and he is a good person and I am in Portland and I should be helping them everyday.

2. My house is unsanitary to the point that I avoid the kitchen and bathroom except when 100% unavoidable. 

3. My boyfriend's iPhone software was pirated, meaning he lost revenue, got his hopes up only to be crushed, and now our budget is limited.

4. Both of my parents weigh less than I do. My dad because of his constant nausea and my mother because of her vigilance in going to the gym during times of crisis.

5. My acne is getting more persistent and worse. I can't stop touching my face and I don't think I can. I was going to bring ProActive up from California but I only had carry-on bags and those are liquids. 

Resolutions to problems:

1. Cry, visit often, talk to my mom more often, edit dad's book.

2. Move to new house in January when I come back from Christmas with family.

3. Get a raise at work, create an actual budget for us for food, brainstorm ideas for a new program he could write/ new project. 

4. Use boyfriend's apartment's gym for eliptical trainer, do crunches whenever possible, stretch everyday at least once. Work out with boyfriend for support.

5. Use ProActive in California and bring it up when I come back in big checked suitcase.